Not For Me

Maybe it’s because you’re young,
Or because you’ve had an easy life.
You seem to be happy,
Just throwing away the days.
We only have a certain number here,
Before we have to return home.
I plan to spend them living,
Really living, the best I can.

Maybe it’s because I’ve struggled,
I know what the bottom feels like.
I’m not satisfied staying still,
And doing nothing anymore.
I want to be outside,
Learning about this new country.
So if I have to,
I will leave you behind.

Maybe we’re just not the same,
At different places in our lives.
We are friends,
If only for a short time.
I can’t stay with you anymore,
I must move on and spread my wings.
This life you lead,
It’s not really living,
Not for me.

I Will Conquer All


I walk away,

My head held high,

For once I don’t feel bad,

I can do this.


Earlier I had felt sick,

Terrified of what was to come,

Selling myself to these people,

Whose job it is to judge me.


It’s a madness,

The pressure we put on ourselves,

To live up to someone else’s standards,

When we’re perfect on our own.


A sense of relief,

Washes over me with the sun,

It’s all over now,

Just wait for the outcome.


Regardless of what happens next,

I must remember thisĀ feeling.

That I could conquer all,

Because one day I will.


I’m gone,
To the other side of the world.
I finally did it,
Packed a bag and left.

Left behind friends and family,
The job I was stuck in,
And the job going nowhere,
Now I’m free.

Free to go where I will.
Do what I want
And make new friends
And yet here I am again

Again feeling a little out of place,
Looking for another thankless job,
As a way of something to do,
Stuck and not wanting to be bored.

Bored leads to dark thoughts,
And feeling useless all over again.
I need to do something productive.
To do something meaningful.