Meeting Again

Facing you now

Isn’t like seeing an old friend

I realise now

With a sinking feeling

That I don’t miss you anymore.

 

Once you tore me apart

I was crushed

That you could ignore me so

But not anymore

Not today

 

Seeing you now

We talk about people in common

As if that’s all we ever had

No common interests

No past history

 

I look at you differently

Can’t believe I ever felt so bad

Like I wasn’t good enough

When in reality

You would never be enough for me.

Pretty Life Picture

Ice cold; Black heart.

Words I’ve heard before.

Using sarcasm to hide,

How I really feel,

Or so you tell me.

 

Of course you know me,

Better than I know myself.

Typical boy thinking he owns the world,

Because society told you

That one day you could.

 

You judge before you know,

And yet you talk of harmony,

As if it’s your life motto.

I guess I just don’t fit,

Into your pretty-life picture.

 

Because how could someone hurt?

Or turn cynical in this world?

When you are the only one,

Allowed to have a bad day,

Everyone else must smile!

Not For Me

Maybe it’s because you’re young,
Or because you’ve had an easy life.
You seem to be happy,
Just throwing away the days.
We only have a certain number here,
Before we have to return home.
I plan to spend them living,
Really living, the best I can.

Maybe it’s because I’ve struggled,
I know what the bottom feels like.
I’m not satisfied staying still,
And doing nothing anymore.
I want to be outside,
Learning about this new country.
So if I have to,
I will leave you behind.

Maybe we’re just not the same,
At different places in our lives.
We are friends,
If only for a short time.
I can’t stay with you anymore,
I must move on and spread my wings.
This life you lead,
It’s not really living,
Not for me.

I Will Conquer All

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I walk away,

My head held high,

For once I don’t feel bad,

I can do this.

 

Earlier I had felt sick,

Terrified of what was to come,

Selling myself to these people,

Whose job it is to judge me.

 

It’s a madness,

The pressure we put on ourselves,

To live up to someone else’s standards,

When we’re perfect on our own.

 

A sense of relief,

Washes over me with the sun,

It’s all over now,

Just wait for the outcome.

 

Regardless of what happens next,

I must remember thisĀ feeling.

That I could conquer all,

Because one day I will.

Meaningful

I’m gone,
To the other side of the world.
I finally did it,
Packed a bag and left.

Left behind friends and family,
The job I was stuck in,
And the job going nowhere,
Now I’m free.

Free to go where I will.
Do what I want
And make new friends
And yet here I am again

Again feeling a little out of place,
Looking for another thankless job,
As a way of something to do,
Stuck and not wanting to be bored.

Bored leads to dark thoughts,
And feeling useless all over again.
I need to do something productive.
To do something meaningful.