Learning

Learning to love,
Not just others but myself.
I always care,
Too little for my own heart.
Learning not to be so bitter,
Against my own short comings.
And appreciate what I can do and
Let others see it.
Learning not to doubt,
In my own strength,
Because after all I made it,
This far by myself.

I will always be learning.
But today I’m learning about me,
I am strong,
I am smart,
And I can be beautiful.
I’m learning to be everything I am,
Powerful and colourful,
Not hiding away in the shadows,
Today was a good day.

Stay Together

Hold your thoughts inside,
With your head up high,
You weren’t meant to break and crumble,
You are the rock others lean on.
Turning to you with their problems,
Seeking your advice,
They don’t expect you to cry,
You support them in times of need,
And they celebrate your high points.
No-one wants to see you break.
It could crush them all.

Best to stay well-put together,
So everyone else can fall apart.

Fragile Science

I’m not a China doll,
Covered in cracks.
Neither am I a scientific theory,
Waiting to be figured out.

 

The words you say,
Will not break me.
Stop trying to ‘understand’ me,
You’ll only mess up your own head.

 

I’m stronger than you realise,
At least give me credit for that.
I’ll never fit into those,
Ever conventional boxes.

 

Don’t create your own eggshells,
To walk around me on.
Apply your science to me,
And you’ll surely fail.

 

I’m only human,

But more than your fragile science.

Those Days

Those days when,

You don’t want to get out of bed,

Or have to get dressed

You don’t want to talk to anyone,

Or even see people.

You don’t want to have to work

Or wash your face.

You don’t want the hassle of daylight,

Or having to travel on the bus.

You don’t want to have to sit in class,

And listen to things you’ll never learn.

 

We all have those days.

 

Those are the days that you learn the most,

About what exactly is it to be you.

Those are the days that make you stronger,

Believe you can survive all things.

Those are the days you battle through,

Proving what a fighter you are.

Those are the days no-one knows about,

But sometimes when you shine your brightest.

 

Those are the days that make you, you.

Shine

Burn with the light that’s inside you,

Don’t let them put it out.

When you shine so bright,

There will always be people against you,

Don’t let them drag you under.

 

You were born to do great things,

The test of time has only made you stronger.

Now you must learn to believe in yourself,

Don’t let others tell you you’re nothing,

You’ll always shine brighter than they do.

Mother

It’s only now that you’re realising how much you missed.

You look back at my childhood,

And remember the little girl I used to be.

I know you wonder how I got to who I am now,

Because you weren’t there.

 

You breeze over those years,

Pretend they never happened.

I was fine:

The lie I fed you that you chose to believe.

You didn’t want to face the real problems.

 

You’ll never know how close you came,

To being a mother of two again.

And I’ll never tell you.

You chose not to see the darkness in me,

Because you never could understand it.

 

You’ve lost people to the dark before,

And you couldn’t face losing another.

But you did nothing.

It took over me and you let it,

Bad memories holding you back.

 

If I hadn’t been so strong,

You would be telling a different story,

Of the two people you had lost,

Because of our ‘selfishness’,

Haunting you forever.

 

You nearly lost me,

And now you want to make up for it,

But you will never be able to accept those years,

The depression gripping me, pulling me under,

And the guilt holding you back.