Two Blue Lines

It’s the scariest test you’ll ever take,
And the one you don’t want to pass,
Because that will be a life-changer,
And you will never be alone again.

In this country you don’t have options,
You have to be all in,
Anything else is against the law,
And your family will hate you.

Your body has been taken over,
It’s no longer just yours to have,
Suddenly everyone gets an opinion,
But no-one wants to hear yours.

You’ll start to feel sick at the sight of food,
And moving too much will be painful,
But don’t complain about this beautiful miracle,
This is what you were meant to do.

So forget all those plans you had,
Everything disappears as you stare at those lines,
Bright blue ones that could change everything,
But only if you tell someone.

Slipping

I can feel myself slipping
Wth nothing to do
And nothing to focus on
All the bad things come back

Once I start working again,
It will all be ok, won’t it?
I just need something to do
A project to keep my mind busy

It’s so easy to fall
When all you’re doing is killing time
Between different projects
A lull in your life

With no physical activity
Or mental exercise to speak of
My mind races with all the mistakes
Or regrets I should have

But the fact is, I am happy
Even though things seem blank right now
And my mind is preparing for a war
I know I won’t slip and fall this time
Because I fought and won before.

Pause

It feels like I’m starting over again
But I’m not.
I sit here in the same place I was
Five years ago.
Everything has changed since then
Especially me.
And yet here I am,
Back where I started.
Sometimes you have to go back
To know where you’ve been.
And maybe there’s a lesson to learn
That I ignored before.
Or maybe I’m just here
As a pause moment in my life.
To regroup today
So I can do better tomorrow.

You Matter

untitled

Sometimes the world isn’t pretty,

But that’s ok

Just know that for all those dark days,

I am here.

 

You are never alone,

I will always be here to listen,

I may be far away,

But I will always care.

 

Because this life can get messy,

And we all need those friends,

Who will stand by your side,

And never give up on you.

 

People can be cruel.

They say things that hurt,

But I want to help you heal,

So you can help others.

 

Your voice was not meant to be locked away,

So don’t let them shut you out,

You matter in this world,

I won’t let you forget that.

Not For Me

Maybe it’s because you’re young,
Or because you’ve had an easy life.
You seem to be happy,
Just throwing away the days.
We only have a certain number here,
Before we have to return home.
I plan to spend them living,
Really living, the best I can.

Maybe it’s because I’ve struggled,
I know what the bottom feels like.
I’m not satisfied staying still,
And doing nothing anymore.
I want to be outside,
Learning about this new country.
So if I have to,
I will leave you behind.

Maybe we’re just not the same,
At different places in our lives.
We are friends,
If only for a short time.
I can’t stay with you anymore,
I must move on and spread my wings.
This life you lead,
It’s not really living,
Not for me.

Learning

Learning to love,
Not just others but myself.
I always care,
Too little for my own heart.
Learning not to be so bitter,
Against my own short comings.
And appreciate what I can do and
Let others see it.
Learning not to doubt,
In my own strength,
Because after all I made it,
This far by myself.

I will always be learning.
But today I’m learning about me,
I am strong,
I am smart,
And I can be beautiful.
I’m learning to be everything I am,
Powerful and colourful,
Not hiding away in the shadows,
Today was a good day.

Broken Pieces

I’m not as broken as I used to be
I still have a shattered heart,
But lately it hasn’t felt as sharp
Slowly it’s moulding back together.

There’s no one else in the picture
I’ve just learnt how to put myself back together
So maybe the next time it gets broken
It might not hurt so much.

I hope that one day all these scars will fade
And I’ll know then I’m where I belong
But until that day comes along
I’ll keep mending my broken pieces.