Beauty

When you’re standing on the shore,
Looking out at the sea.

When you’re sitting in a room,
Surrounded by your friends.

When you’re smiling on the outside,
And on the inside, you’re shining.

When you laugh so hard,
You could cry.

When you look out at the world,
And see all the beauty.

It’s when you are at peace on the inside,
That you can see the beauty all around.

Fake Middle Class

A term you made for yourself,

Looking down on us

Because we don’t have your ‘standards’,

I’m not as fussy as you,

I don’t want that silver spoon,

I worked hard to be here,

And your judgement is unfounded,

Because you had the same beginnings I did.

I don’t care for your finer things,

Importance put on material possessions,

I don’t have the money,

Or the inclination for it.

I want to be out there,

Seeing the world,

Not trapped in my house,

By all your middle-class priorities.

Invisible

I’m saying things,
But you don’t hear me,
It’s not that you don’t understand,
You just don’t want to hear it.

It’s not my fault,
That my opinion doesn’t match yours,
Or that I was born a woman,
But you ignoring me, is your fault.

I don’t even know that you realise,
How invisible you can make me feel,
With your white male privilege,
That you claim you don’t have.

It’s bad enough I have to endure this,
Out in the real world,
But I expected more from friends,
Who have been outcast too.

This is meant to be a safe place,
Free from attack or judgement,
Yet you still treat me like I’m less than,
And my opinion just doesn’t count.

I might as well be screaming,
For all you seem to notice me,
Because I will never give up fighting,
I just didn’t expect to have to fight you too.

Hiding

I’m 26 now,
But sometimes I am still that 15 year old girl,
Who couldn’t breathe at the thought,
Of having to stand up in front of class
With every face turned towards me.
They’d listen politely,
Like they were taught to do.
But none of them would really hear me,
Or see me properly,
Because I’m hiding behind a mask
I’ve been perfecting for you all.

So I may be 26 now,
But that mask still gets used sometimes.
Because people still don’t really hear me,
And they can say it’s because I don’t have experience,
And I’ll say it’s because I’m a woman.
And sometimes that might be true.
But maybe they are not to blame,
Maybe it’s just because I became too good at hiding,
And not good enough at just being me.

You Matter

untitled

Sometimes the world isn’t pretty,

But that’s ok

Just know that for all those dark days,

I am here.

 

You are never alone,

I will always be here to listen,

I may be far away,

But I will always care.

 

Because this life can get messy,

And we all need those friends,

Who will stand by your side,

And never give up on you.

 

People can be cruel.

They say things that hurt,

But I want to help you heal,

So you can help others.

 

Your voice was not meant to be locked away,

So don’t let them shut you out,

You matter in this world,

I won’t let you forget that.

Not For Me

Maybe it’s because you’re young,
Or because you’ve had an easy life.
You seem to be happy,
Just throwing away the days.
We only have a certain number here,
Before we have to return home.
I plan to spend them living,
Really living, the best I can.

Maybe it’s because I’ve struggled,
I know what the bottom feels like.
I’m not satisfied staying still,
And doing nothing anymore.
I want to be outside,
Learning about this new country.
So if I have to,
I will leave you behind.

Maybe we’re just not the same,
At different places in our lives.
We are friends,
If only for a short time.
I can’t stay with you anymore,
I must move on and spread my wings.
This life you lead,
It’s not really living,
Not for me.

Meaningful

I’m gone,
To the other side of the world.
I finally did it,
Packed a bag and left.

Left behind friends and family,
The job I was stuck in,
And the job going nowhere,
Now I’m free.

Free to go where I will.
Do what I want
And make new friends
And yet here I am again

Again feeling a little out of place,
Looking for another thankless job,
As a way of something to do,
Stuck and not wanting to be bored.

Bored leads to dark thoughts,
And feeling useless all over again.
I need to do something productive.
To do something meaningful.