Free Voice

No you can’t tell me what to
Do, Eat, Say,
What clothes to wear,
Where I should be going,
What I should be thinking.

I can think for myself,
Make my own decisions,
You don’t get to take that freedom from me,
It was hard earned,
And I shall keep it.

No-one can control my life, but me.
I am privileged to be able to say that,
To be a free voice.
No-one shall take it from me again,
I know the price it carries.

Scream

What if I scream out loud this time,
How will you react?
If I don’t hide them,
The thoughts in my head.

 

Here it comes,
The outpouring of built up emotions.
Years of repression,
Filling one bullet.

 

Hate eats away at your soul,
So scream,
Let it all out,
Watch the shock on their faces.

 

Is it bad to imagine it,
Walking into that quiet building,
And screaming down the aisles:

“Awake you sleepy people,
The real world has come knocking”.

Songbird

Sing little songbird, Sing,

You are free from your cage,

Find your voice again,

And share it with the world.

 

Fly through the dunes,

Fill the air with your song,

They can’t hold you back anymore,

Let go of the dark memories.

 

The loss you feel now,

Like grief sitting in your heart,

Is the loss of a sister-like friend,

But you must let her go where she will.

 

You were meant to be free,

To sing what’s in your soul,

The world and it’s people will try to hold you back,

But you mustn’t let it taint your song.

Like Clockwork

2331_Clockwork_Heart

There’s no-one else around,

The room is silent.

So I sit here passing the time,

Whiling away the hours,

Always watching the clock.

Playing little games,

Reading other’s stories,

Amending their words,

Pushing the hands forward.

 

Why is it that we always have to move so fast?

Waiting for the day to end,

Trying to out-run the clock,

Get to the next big adventure.

 

We don’t enjoy our time here,

We constantly wish for it to pass,

And yet when we have no more left,

Won’t we miss what we had?

Tired Feelings

You ever been tired of running?

Decided to finally face something.
So I picked the easier option.
The one that inside I knew,
Wasn’t going to be long term.
It will end eventually,
So it’s less of a threat.

You ever been tired of trying?

Didn’t want to always have to be,
The one who puts in all the work.
Didn’t want to get my heart broken,
Left on my own all over again.
So I picked the easy road,
Where I would be the heartbreaker.

You ever been just tired?

It’s not so scary this time,
Because I don’t care as much.
I could be numb,
Or this could just be wrong.
But I feel like I gotta try,
Or I’ll never know which one.

Notebook

Open the notebook,
What will you find?
 You know it’s dark inside,
But how bad could it really be?

 

Depression and overdosing,
Hatred of self and others,
Misunderstandings and rejection,
All things hidden away in that book.

 

There was a reason I only wrote those words,
And there’s a reason that I hide them,
No-one should ever have to see into that dark hole,
The downward spiral of an inner mind.

 

Have you ever scared yourself?
So much that you start to cry,
At the horrors of what you once went through,
The words on the page like a slap to the face.

 

No-one shall ever have to read that book,
But I’ll keep it close to me,
As a reminder that life gets better,
And I will never feel that way again.